Triggers

It's incredibly easy to brainwash a cat. Not that most of them are mental giants to begin with, but it really shouldn't be so easy.

I didn't set out with the intention of brainwashing them. I just got into the habit of asking "Guess what time it is?" every night before I gave them wet food or tuna. Actually, I said "Guess what time it is?" and Baxter meowed, then I would say "That's right! It's time to feed the kitties!" And I did it all in that annoying cutesy voice one usually uses with babies or blondes.

I realized they were well and truly gone the night the husband and I tried saying different words, but in the same tone of voice. They absolutely responded as if nothing had changed, meowing and heading towards the kitchen. Then we tried saying the right words, but in a monotone. Nothing. They didn't even look our way. I thought it was pretty funny at the time.

Eventually, though, it got to be too much. All we had to say was "guess" in the right tone and they'd be off to the kitchen, meowing. Sometimes, all we need is the hard "g" and Baxter looks like he's going to pop from excitement. And I didn't want to tease them, so they always got the treats.

Now, if we could only train them to retrieve drinks or something more useful...
Considering the damage they can do with those claws, maybe we should consider something along the lines of mercenaries. At least then they could pay for their own damn tuna.