Happy Birthday To Me!

Yep, today is my birthday. I have no big plans. In fact, the only thing I should be doing is picking up my prescription before it gets too much later...

But I wanted to note that I have been infected by the husband. I love flowers. I love sending them and I love getting them. But the husband doesn't because in his philosophy, flowers die. Meaning you should buy something that lasts longer than a couple of days. So I went to the farmer's market yesterday to buy myself some flowers for my birthday and I realized as I stood looking at the different vendors displays, that I couldn't do it. I couldn't spend money on something that, although pretty, was going to be ugly and dead in 3 days. So I bought 2 plants instead - kalanchoe. Contrary to the husband's joking, I have a fairly green thumb and I love kalanchoe. Mine always bloom several times a year, especially here in SoCal. So I bought 2 in colors I don't have and brought them home. I think I'm going to go to Lowe's and buy some nice pots, since I still have a giftcard from Christmas to use. And I think I'm going to try and propagate some of the older ones I have. They get so straggly.

Other than picking up the drugs, I really don't have firm plans for today. I have a coupon for an outlet store that expires today, but it's a bit of a drive to get there. Maybe. I do have to proof the husband's work and send it off to a producer friend, but that'll take 20 minutes at most. I'm sure I'll figure something out.

Triggers

It's incredibly easy to brainwash a cat. Not that most of them are mental giants to begin with, but it really shouldn't be so easy.

I didn't set out with the intention of brainwashing them. I just got into the habit of asking "Guess what time it is?" every night before I gave them wet food or tuna. Actually, I said "Guess what time it is?" and Baxter meowed, then I would say "That's right! It's time to feed the kitties!" And I did it all in that annoying cutesy voice one usually uses with babies or blondes.

I realized they were well and truly gone the night the husband and I tried saying different words, but in the same tone of voice. They absolutely responded as if nothing had changed, meowing and heading towards the kitchen. Then we tried saying the right words, but in a monotone. Nothing. They didn't even look our way. I thought it was pretty funny at the time.

Eventually, though, it got to be too much. All we had to say was "guess" in the right tone and they'd be off to the kitchen, meowing. Sometimes, all we need is the hard "g" and Baxter looks like he's going to pop from excitement. And I didn't want to tease them, so they always got the treats.

Now, if we could only train them to retrieve drinks or something more useful...
Considering the damage they can do with those claws, maybe we should consider something along the lines of mercenaries. At least then they could pay for their own damn tuna.

Back on Track?

I've been crap on my diet lately and I have to do better. I've got Sped's wedding in May and I've ordered my dress a size too small. Got no choice now! Besides, Sped's doing my diet and has lost 15 pounds. Can't let her beat me. The husband and I are going to try Nutrisystem. I don't know how it'll work but at least I won't have to shop or cook. Always a good thing!

I read girlfiend's blog yesterday where she talks about her (possibly unnatural) love of her Dyson vacuum. She claims it gets cat puke out of sisal. If that's true, I want a Dyson of my own. All 3 of my cats puke on a regular basis. Sometimes it's hair, sometimes it's unchewed cat food, sometimes it's just gross liquidy stuff. Most of the time I can't deal with cleaning it up while it's still warm. That is just too much. I'm hoping to replace my carpet with hardwood floors someday. But I do have one cat who will drag himself, hacking the whole way, from the tiled part of the house to a nice carpeted spot before he actually hurls. I have seen him do this and if it wasn't so gross, it'd be funny/pathetic. Another cat manages to hurl wherever he is, be it on the sofa, over my shoes, etc. Makes me really want a dog sometimes.

I just have to ask - if that dumbass decided he didn't want to kill himself, why didn't he drive his Jeep off the tracks? I hope he gets the death penalty and I hope it hurts.

Breakfast was gym food - an egg and kidney beans. Sped's been making fake crab and scrambled eggs. I oughta try that.

Almost Alone

Well, the husband almost left me yesterday. It's gotten that bad. I know we still love each other, but it's getting hard to live with each other. I'm not sure what's going to happen. We've got a couple irons in the fire, but I don't know if those'll end up helping our hurting - we can only try.

I know it's not always going to be like this. I just don't know if we're going to be able to hang on until it changes. He thought the only reason I haven't left him is because I'm afraid of being on my own. I hope I made him realize that isn't the case. I am more than capable of being by myself. I can and do deal with pretty much anything. No, the reason I haven't left is because I love him and need him and I don't believe this is how the rest of our lives will go. If I truly thought it wasn't going to get better, I would go.

To change the subject...Went walking in the park yesterday. Yes, it seems a waste of the gym membership, but I really do prefer the park. It's a better, more interesting workout. I'll be back at the gym soon enough, when I go back to work. No way I'm at the park at 6am. Too scary! It was nice out, not too hot. I even did a little jogging but I'm so out of shape for jogging. When we lived in Florida I ran at the park everyday. I did 3 or 4 miles at a time. I miss that but nothing to do about it now. At least there are no mutant ducks here to contest with. Today I did go to the gym to work out with JC, my trainer. I love having a trainer, even though I think it's a bit expensive. We boxed, which is my favorite, but it totally wore me out. Damn good workout.

The husband's getting me an Ipod shuffle for my birthday (Jan 31st). I can't wait! It's smaller than a pack of gum and I can put all of MY music on it and take it to the gym or to work or wherever. No more sharing with him. Yeah! I do wish he'd consider taking me shopping, though. He went through my closet and dumped a bunch of stuff (I was kind of hoping he'd dump more, since I'm incapable of weeding things out) and I need some nice replacements. And he does dress me better than I dress myself. We'll see.

Breakfast has been an egg and kidney beans. Not exciting, but good for working out. I haven't been as good on my eating as I should be - it's the stress, but I'm slowly getting better.

A Change Of Venue

I got my new towels and they are sooooo nice. The bathroom already looks different, but I can't wait to see how it looks after I repaint it.

The husband informed me this morning that the hotel we had booked for Comic-Con claims to be haunted. There were apparently several posts about it where people claimed they wouldn't stay there again because of what they witnessed. Although I was a bit wigged, I thought it sounded kind of cool. I've always wanted to experience something supernatural. I'm kind of like Mulder that way, I want to believe. But the Scully in me hasn't seen any proof, yet.
Anyway, it was all good until he continued with the news that they are also supposed to have terrible service and basically be a bad hotel. He went off to take a shower and I checked - he was right. I looked at travel sites and the vast majority of reviews weren't just bad, they bordered on pleas to avoid the dump.

So I went looking for another hotel. Now, Comic-Con hotels booked up within, oh, 3 hours of opening the registration. So it didn't look good. The closest places were in Old Town, which meant a trolley ride. Normally that's not a bad thing, but with 60 pounds of books to lug around, it is.

Eventually I went to my standby - Orbitz. And I found the coolest looking hotel, only 3 blocks from the convention center! Of course, they weren't offering any discount rates, but I figure, what the hey! This trip is also our vacation. I know, we went to London, but that was our honeymoon. Totally different. So I booked this place and I'm so psyched. The Hotel Solamar right next to the Gaslamp and the new stadium. I hope it turns out as cool as it seems - rooftop pool, fitness center, dvd players, internet access, etc. I'll let you know, but it's not until July.

I've also been looking at stuff for Sped's hen night. Wow, they've got some pretty kinky stuff available out there.

So far, that's been my day. I've started the laundry and taken out the trash. I have to clean the litter box but I hate doing it so I always put it off as long as possible. I even did some research on self-cleaning litter boxes. There's one I like, but not sure if we're ready for that yet. I've also had bad kitty-mom thoughts about how nice it would be to get a dog that does it's business outside. Yes, I know you have to pick it up, but at least it's not right in the house, taking up valuable bathroom space and stinkin' the place up. But I would never do anything to my kitties. Not on purpose, at least, so the thing with the knitting needle doesn't count. Besides, she doesn't seem to miss that fang at all.

Breakfast was another bar. So now I've got 2 brands I really like. Maybe I'll actually say what they are, if it'll get me some for free!

Yes, Words Can Hurt

This blog is not going to be as witty as it should be, as it's the second time I've written it. When I tried to publish the first one, it vanished. Damn. Anyway...

The unemployment office was a total waste of time. I was late getting there because I forgot how bad traffic is after 8am (which is when I'm usually already at work). My appointment was at 9 and I made it by 9:12 - I know 12 minutes is fashionably late for parties, but when it comes to getting money from the gov't, it's just late. So I handed over my ID and my paperwork and took a seat for about 3 minutes, then they called my name. The very nice woman behind the counter checked my ID again. She said they were checking for fraud; I guess by making applicants show up to prove they really existed. Then she complimented me on filling my paperwork out correctly and gave me a list of entertainment industry websites. Now, that would have been pretty cool, but 1) I don't need them and 2) anybody with 2 brain cells to rub together could have found them. She also told me I could go to Van Nuys from now on and use that office's fax machines and stuff for free. So I thanked her and went on my way. I was in my car by 9:25.

Actually, what happened to me between leaving the office and driving away was the most interesting part of my day. There was a man walking towards the front door as I was leaving and he said something along the lines of "how is your morning." I'm not exactly sure, since I don't pay too much attention to what people passing on the street say, but I was polite and said ok, or fine, or something. I continued to my car and by the time I got there, I realized he had followed me. I wasn't scared, but I was nervous and I couldn't manage to pick my sunglasses up from the seat, so I climbed in and tried not to sit on them.

So I'm in my car and he walks up to the window and, being a polite person for the most part, I rolled down my window a bit. He asked me if I was from the Midwest - yeah, weird question. I told him I was from Tennessee and he went into this spiel about having gone to school in North Dakota and how he was always looking to meet someone who wasn't from California and did I want to go and get coffee? I told him I didn't think my husband would like that and he replied very calmly that I didn't have to tell my husband. Wow. So I told him I appreciated the offer but that I wasn't interested and he finally walked away. I was so freaked out by the whole thing I called the husband and left a message telling him all about it.

I've never considered myself attractive. I'm 5'5" tall and I weigh more than I should. I do workout and I'm pretty muscular, so I look better than you'd think from my numbers, but I still think I'm fat. I've always been fat or considered myself fat (same thing for me). And right now my hair is about an inch long and ranges in color from blond to faded red to darker red to that unfortunate blue (with some spots of what can only be called purple). So that doesn't help, either. But I've never really had any experience with dating and stuff - never had a real boyfriend before the husband. I mean, I don't usually even recognize flirting - I just think it's two people chatting, having a good time. But it's hard to miss an invitation for coffee. That man asking me out put me in a total panic. Yikes. Stupid, but I just don't understand why anyone would want anything to do with me unless they already knew me. I don't see any visual appeal. Nothing you look twice at if I walked by on the street.

I'm going to have to talk to Shrink about this, but it'll come back to one thing that we've already discussed. It's something one of my brothers told me when I was little and already fat. "Guys don't dig fat chicks." Yes, it was the 70's and I believed it from that moment on. Still do...

I've forgotten to write what I had for breakfast. Today was an egg and some kidney beans (met my trainer at the gym). Yesterday was a bar - French Toast, I think.

"It's Pink, and It's Scented"

I have to go down to the unemployment office tomorrow and take some class on "How To Get A Job" or some such thing. These things are absolutely wasted on me as I can get a job by telling LG that I'm available. It's just not that hard for me, considering what I do. There aren't that many payroll accountants and there are even fewer who like the job enough to stay with it and get really good - not to boast but I am one of those people. I like my job and I'm good at it. True, sometimes I hate it more than cantaloupe (blech!) - the days when I'm stuck there for 14 hours, the days when people get in my face cause they think I've shorted them on their checks, the days when nobody seems to be able to fill out the damn paperwork, including the DGA. But most of the time I'm quite content with my profession.

But the point is that I'm unemployed every 6 or 9 months or so and I always file for unemployment for the 2 or 3 weeks between shows. This time I've been off since the beginning of December and they've busted me with a seminar. I have to polish up my resume and fill out a form with the details of my job hunt. What job hunt? I've worked straight through for over 15 months and I totally planned on taking this time off. Doesn't sound like a long time, but that's 15 months of 60+ hour weeks (sometimes 72+ hour weeks) with no break except for the 2 weeks I needed to deal with my mother-in-law's death and funeral (not what I'd call a vacation).

Whatever - I'm going. I can't risk this messing up my future claims so I'll be there bright and early with my papers in hand, trying not to look bored. Hopefully it won't last too long. Target is having their white sale and I've got a gift card from one of my brothers and his wife. I'm getting new towels! Not really that exciting, but I haven't had new towels in a while and I'm changing the color scheme of the bathroom. Going with blue this time. It'll match the glass accent tiles I put in when we had to replace the shower.

Still don't know how the husband feels about Sped. Hey, would you let me know already? I need to know that things are ok between you two. You're my husband, she's my best friend, I need for things to work out.

I don't know if things are going to get better with us, but the husband finally made a decision about his career. I was afraid to hear it at first, because when he said he'd made a decision, I didn't know what it was about and I just knew he was going to leave me. But he said he'd decided that he wanted this more than anything he'd ever wanted and he was going to go after it. I was so happy I cried. It doesn't mean he believes he can do it, but he's going to go after it. We'll work on the belief thing.

I can't believe Bush is our president again. I wonder if I can find a black armband for tomorrow...

Tuesday's Blog

This is from Tuesday - it's about the only thing I managed to get done today.

It’s Tuesday and I’m on the flight back to LA. The husband doesn’t understand how I can look forward to going home and be sad about leaving London at the same time. But I’m doing it and I’ve been doing it for a couple of days now.

I didn’t blog yesterday. I had planned to, wanted to – I had gone out on my own for the last time and was looking forward to putting down how it made me feel. Then for some reason I didn’t. The husband asked if I wanted the computer and I said no. I didn’t even download my pictures. I think I wanted to keep it to myself. For some reason, I really felt at home yesterday, walking around in the rain and doing a bit of shopping. It was serene, if I understand the meaning of the word. If I had tried to write it down, it would have cheapened it. This all sounds melodramatic reading it over, but it’s how I feel.

Anyway, we’re chasing the sunset west. The sun went over the horizon for a bit while we were flying north, but we caught back up with it. For the most part it’s just been a red-orange line deepening into that blue you see when you get this high up. I keep looking out the window at it, checking to see how the race is going. I know by the time we land it’ll be dark in LA, will have been for a couple of hours. I hope I see the sun go down and stay down.

Have to say the Virgin-Atlantic lounge at Heathrow beats the LAX lounge by a mile. No comparison. LAX is like a library where you’re always waiting to be shushed while Heathrow is like a coffee shop (but not a Starbucks). We had quite a while to kill in there but it was nice. I even got my manicure – went with a shade that ended up a bit pink, but it’s a nice change for me. As we were leaving we passed a “movie star” in the hallway. Recognized her immediately, but she was carefully avoiding making eye contact. Either way, I’m not in the habit of running up to famous people and gushing all over them. I work in the industry, too. And I know what they make. Oddly enough, she ended up sitting in front of us on the plane. Plus, she got the first complimentary massage, although we were told they choose at random the people who request a treatment. I told the husband the random started after they got through the famous and fabulously wealthy.

The husband is reading this over my shoulder, which usually bothers me, but I’m not minding right now. I just wish he’d stop interrupting me with comments. It throws me.
Really. So stop it.

I am having a hard time realizing the trip is over. We started planning it so long ago and it seemed to take forever to get here and now it’s almost done. I feel like a little kid at Christmas, asking if that’s all there is when surrounded by mountains of opened toys. I’m already thinking about where to go next, but I know that’s a ways off. Got to get back to work.

I did go to Kensington Palace on Monday. Not the building, mind you, but the park surrounding it. When we were there before we didn’t go up the hill and you couldn’t really see that much. It’s very nice, even in the cold rain. When you get to the lake you can see that it’s quite large and the sounds of London kind of fade away. That’s where I started on my own and it’s where the serene comes from. Peaceful. Although there was a Jack Russell Terrier who had “treed” a squirrel who would run around the tree barking, then climb 3 steps up the trunk and fall back to the ground. He did it over and over, totally ignoring his owner.

But I forgot to mention the start of the day. We were lucky enough to catch a London show without having to go out or pay any money. I know it’s not the same, but the BBC broadcast “Jerry Springer: The Opera” – a quick pause while they hand out little tubs of Ben & Jerry’s (man I love upper class) – and it was fantastic. I don’t know if I could have enjoyed it more if I had seen it live. The husband checked the internet and it turned out that the cd was one of the few things we could buy cheaper in London so we went to Piccadily Circus to pick one up. Can’t wait to listen to it at home and at work! I peeled off the parental advisory label to ease its route through customs.

Monday’s breakfast was our last trip to Bakers Oven… I got the sub donut with the butterscotch curls on top. Today I had a Smore’s bar. Both were good.

Morning Blogs?

I like to wait until the end of the day to blog because you never know what's going to happen, but I'd forgotten that the husband is usually on the computer at night. I'm either going to have to blog earlier or wait until the next morning - not the best idea since I tend to forget things after sleeping. So we'll try early evening blogs after this one...

We got the Jeep back. It did need a new radiator but it was only $300 to fix it. We went ahead and had them do the front brakes, too. We also decided to go ahead and start looking for a new car. As much as we had planned to wait until the it totally broke down, I don't want to deal with having it towed away and then having to run out and buy something. I'd rather do it when I have time and am not under pressure. Besides, I'm going back to work soon and it'll be easier doing it during the week. Right now we're planning on getting a Ford Escape Hybrid. I don't see the point in getting an SUV unless it has some kind of redeeming feature beyond cargo capacity.

Went to Target yesterday and I'm wondering why people don't read. They put up those electronic barricades that lock the cart wheels when you try and take the cart past a certain point. The signs have been up for months, yet there's always a pile of carts at the barrier and one moron who's standing there like an idiot trying to figure out why his cart won't go anymore. I just don't get it. I mean, it's fun to watch but I doubt that was Target's intent - providing opportunity to ridicule people? They're good, but not that good.

The husband never commented on whether or not he was over the thing with Sped. He did comment on my getting blue hair (which I am over and am trying to wash out with dish soap and laundry detergent). Don't know why he picks the one I don't care about. It's kind of like Mario's response to my e-mail. Ignore the plea - focus on something pointless...

Anyway, got stuff to do today. Need to go grocery shopping and have to clean the house. One good thing about going back to work? Getting a maid! Plus I should really go and look at getting a screen door. I want to be able to open the doors and windows and air the place out while it's still cool here.

I'm going back on my diet and am about to get back into a regular exercise program, so breakfast is about to become pretty boring. Bars yesterday and today. Tomorrow will be new, but unchanging after that. Sorry.

4th Day

It's been 4 days of almost continuous fighting between me and the husband. I finally had to tell him that I was done; I couldn't do it anymore. It got bad enough that on Friday I went and had my hair cut super short and the top dyed blue. When I told my stylist what I was thinking of doing, she asked if I was still married. I guess doing something radical to your hair is the norm when it's this bad. The blue didn't turn out as well as it could have. If it had been pieced in, it would have been ok, but it looks like I dumped a paint can on my head. I'm going to either have her bleach it out a bit or shave it all off. It'll grow back eventually. I've always wanted to see want my head looked like without hair. Some people have weird shaped heads. But I need to do something soon. We're trying to get rid of the old hair so I can have a clean slate and do something different and I need hair for Sped's wedding in May. That's only 4 months... how fast does hair grow?

I really need to get back on my diet pretty soon. The stress with the husband and the jet-lag have made it too easy to be lazy. But I can't let it go too long. I've got that wedding to get ready for and I'm not going to be the fat bridesmaid. I may still be the biggest one, but it'll be all muscle. The husband wants to lose some weight, too. I had him try South Beach with me, but it's hard when you don't eat vegetables. I think he's going to try Weight Watchers instead. Not like he's going to go to the meetings, but I've got all the info and it should work if he can take the time to portion stuff out.

I talked to Sped today about some stuff the husband and I are fighting about - I had been worried that I remembered something wrong. Well, it turns out that I told the husband something that wasn't accurate and it's been ugly ever since. I don't know if I fixed it today or not. He didn't really say too much when I told him I'd screwed up and explained what had really been said. I guess all I can do is hope for the best.

Speaking of hoping, the Jeep seems to be leaking from the radiator (like I know anything about cars). But the temperature is high, it's leaking from right behind the bumper, and there's steam coming from the hood - not good. We left it at the shop overnight and we're supposed to hear something in the morning. I hope it's not too bad and I'm not predicting anything, but the husband is probably right in saying that whatever is wrong won't be worth repairing considering the age and condition of the car. We had planned on getting a new car when it wore out, but we didn't think it'd be this soon. We'll see in the morning.

I still need to post my blog I wrote on the plane back. I just can't motivate myself to do it. But I think it's a good piece and a fitting end to the trip. Maybe tomorrow.

Breakfast today was a bar - crunchy peanut butter, I think. I'm going to have to get more of that brand. They've been the best so far.

Back In The Real World

I blogged yesterday, describing our first day back at home. It was a really crappy day and I wrote something the husband didn't like. I responded by erasing the whole thing. Stupid. But it's done now.

He didn't mean for me to erase all of it, just the one sentence. He felt it made him look "crazy" - which I could see looking back at it. But I felt under attack and over-reacted. That's not an uncommon occurrence.

I also threatened to stop the blog if he was going to try to censor what I wrote. This is supposed to be about me, about what I'm thinking and feeling. I have a hard enough time expressing myself that the thought of anybody criticizing my attempt makes me want to give up trying. But censorship isn't his aim. All he wants is for me to either be more discreet or to put it all out there. If I had written about all the crap that he's been going through and ended with the scene we had yesterday, that would have been fine; his actions would have been understandable. But only mentioning the scene made him look out-of-control for no apparent reason.

So yesterday sucked and today wasn't much better. We both ended up not wearing our wedding rings for a couple of hours, although they're back on now. I should take the time and put it all out there, just so he knows I understand why he is so miserable. But it hurts and I'm too weak. I've already lived through it and I don't know if I can pick off that scab.

So it's time to change the subject... I've started looking into skating lessons. The closest rink started their lessons last Saturday, so for now it might be easier to just go skating on my own each week. It's going to be way too easy for me to just not do this. I get full of big plans but I can put them aside without another thought. All part of my disorder that says I'm not worth it. And right now I really don't feel worth it.

Mixed nuts for breakfast - almonds, cashews, and macadamia nuts. Really.

Stonehenge

I finally made it to Stonehenge. I've wanted to go ever since I first heard of the place. Back then, I never thought I'd make it. But today I rode 2 trains and a bus and there it was.

It was kind of weird, coming up on it like we did. We came over a hill and around a slight bend and it's sitting at the left-hand side of the road like some gas station or fruit stand. I actually asked the husband if that was it - I expected it to be remote or down some winding lane. We passed it to get to the carpark and I was in that dream state where everything kind of slows down. I felt like I couldn't get over to it fast enough, but I made myself slow down, especially after I saw the bus driver feeding the birds right out of his hand. I asked him if I could try it and he gave me some crumbs, warning me that he'd been doing it for years and they may not trust me. It only took a few seconds to get one bird to land just long enough to grab-and-go, but that was it - no more birds for me. I tried a few minutes longer, than gave up and thanked him.

We crossed the road, but that turned out to be the wrong way. They have a big fence up along the road and although you can see Stonehenge, you can't really get any good pictures and you are a distance from it. We crossed back over the road and found the entrance, paid the fee, picked up our audio guides, and headed under the road this time.

The commentary was pretty good - I listened to most of it, but it was kind of distracting. I wanted to just stand there and let it sink in. Unfortunately, the husband is still sick so I made myself move along as fast as I could (not really that fast). They do have the stones roped off. You can't get too close to them, but that's ok by me. A girl I know had told me not to bother going because of that - the fact you couldn't touch them bothered her. I have to say that I can more than understand the need to NOT touch something that historic.

Then it started to rain. Actually it was freezing rain. The wind was blowing and the sleet was falling and it was getting pretty miserable. The husband had the crappy umbrella we had bought in London. The wind blew it to pieces but it lasted long enough. I picked up the pace a bit and when we got around to the side where the wind was blowing the rain into our faces, I considered trying to take more pictures but figured it wasn't worth ruining my new digital camera.

I sent the husband along and listened to some more of the audio, then gave that up and joined him. The bus was there and he wanted to get on it as it only makes the rounds once an hour. I had to go to the gift shop, though. I just didn't see how I could finally make it to Stonehenge and not get my magnet. He wasn't happy, but we went in and I got my magnet and looked around a bit. I realized the husband had gone out so I paid for my stuff and went out. To my surprise, the bus was still there so we hustled up the ramp and climbed on at the last minute.

I didn't realize it until later that he was mad at me. I had gotten the impression that when I went into the gift shop that that was it - we had missed the bus. But it was more like I had 3 minutes and should hurry. Besides, we caught the bus so at first I didn't see the big deal. He finally explained that he wanted the consideration of me knowing that he was tired and sick and cold and that I would forgo the shop to get him on the bus. I saw his point and I felt bad about being so selfish. But I tried to make him see my point, too. About the finally being there and getting the "proof." Anyway, I already felt crappy about dragging him out there. I'd been feeling stressed about it before we even left and had been short with him. I told him I shouldn't have made him come, but he didn't think I would have gone alone. I said I would have, but maybe not. I'm not really sure what I would have done. I'd like to think I would have gone by myself...

The weather made it pretty clear that it was time to head back. I had wanted to climb Salisbury Cathedral, but St. Paul's will have to suffice. Besides, it took over 3 hours to make it back to the apartment. At least we made up by then.

Something to add to my disappointments - fish with bones it it. I can't stand fish with bones it in. Thankfully, the only time I ordered fish and chips it was bone free.

I'm not sure what breakfast was today. We got it from the bakery across from the tube. It looked like an eclair, but the woman said it was a bun. And it was - just like they had taken a dinner roll and put chocolate and cream on it. Weird. Yesterday's bar was better.

Left To My Own Devices

The husband is still sick and he hates it. He's spent the whole day in bed doing pretty much nothing - which is a good thing, if it means he gets better faster. He keeps apologizing, even though I keep telling him he doesn't need to. We set the alarm to go to Portobello Road this morning. I don't think either of us slept that well. The winds were fierce and howled past our windows, occasionally making them rattle. And then it rained buckets. He was up coughing, too.

Anyway, when the alarm went off, we knew he couldn't really make it. I said I'd go and if it was worthwhile, we'd try to go back later in the day if he felt up to it. So I headed off, hoping I wasn't too late in getting there. I wasn't. I was there shortly after 8am and a lot of people had barely started setting up. I walked the entire length of Portobello Road to see what was what. The "antique" dealers were pretty much ready to go, but that's because all they had to do was open the door to the store and put some stuff out on a table in front. The vendors with the fresh fruits and veggies were all set and if I lived in London, I would be there every week to buy my produce! There were also meat and seafood vendors (all fresh). After the food came the garage sale type stuff. I think they called it "New Goods" but I always call it "stuff that fell off the back of a truck". There seemed to be quite a bit of space for people to set up, but not much had been yet. By the time I made it back to the beginning it was 9am and it was just starting to pick up. I was surprised by this, as I'm used to the Rose Bowl Flea Market where you go EARLY to get the good stuff.

I knew by then that I didn't care to go back to the newer stuff, especially since it was way back at the far end, so I wandered up and down the antiques section, looking at the booths as people finished putting their stuff out. The first thing I bought was a fossil. The guy selling them had some really nice, and expensive, stuff. I got just about the cheapest thing he had. It's about 180 million years old, unless you believe the universe is only 4000 years old, then it's a fake. After that, I bought a tile hook for my hat collection and 3 brooches (they're supposed to be Scottish, which is a nice touch, but they have multi-colored stones set in silver and were only 5 pounds each). I really wanted to buy a Soviet army fur hat, but it was $60 - too much. Before I bought the brooches I had been hanging around this woman's table - she was setting out really nice jewelry for good prices, but I wanted to see more of what she had before I bought something. I kept going off and coming back, giving her time to get the stuff out. She never once acknowledged me. After I found the brooches, I went back to take another look, but realized I was pissed about her not saying anything to me so I didn't buy anything from her.

(Debby, if you're reading this, you're about to find out what I got you.) I did manage to get most of my souvenir shopping done on Portobello Road. I found a booth selling "Pashmina look" scarves at 5 pounds each and it was buy 5 get one free! So I got 12. It took a while and I really only need 8 at the most, but they're pretty and I think everyone will like them. The real Pashminas were between $30 and $100, so those weren't an option.

I was frozen by then so I headed back, got the husband more cough medicine and some lunch. Decided it would be a good day to go out and do my souvenir shopping - the stuff for me! Yeah! The husband encouraged me to have a good time and I headed off. It was a bit of an adventure, going alone. I went to Buckingham Palace and took some pics, then walked through the park over to Piccadilly. I was determined to go to Fortnum & Mason - they have some sort of official status with the royals. It's not as big as Harrod's but it's also not as tacky. I wandered through the ladies fashions and the food hall and quite preferred the atmosphere there. Got a couple of things and headed back out where I saw a Japanese Confectionery. I've never heard of such a thing, so of course I had to go have a look. I went in and even though the descriptions put me off a bit, I had to try something. I'm not even sure of what I got, I just know it was a chestnut paste surrounded by a sweet red bean paste. Yep, it was as tasty as it sounds. No wonder there were so few fat Japanese if that's what they call candy.

That experience over, I headed on to Leicester Square and the gift shops. Picked up the stuff I wanted and was done. I've been trying to get rid of my copper for several days and I finally managed to drop it in a charity bucket for tsunami relief - there was a group of bagpipers playing in the square.

I hated leaving the husband cooped up in bed all day, but I'm glad I went out. I had a nice time on my own. I do hope he feels better tomorrow so we can get out together.

Breakfast? Back to the bars - dark chocolate raspberry. Still my favorite.

Not All It's Waxed Up To Be

The husband is officially sick. We both started out yesterday with a runny nose and tickly cough, but I got over mine and he got worse. Neither of us got enough sleep last night, but I got up and went down to Boots for some cough syrup. It didn't really help him too much, though. I did decide while I was out that we should try to go to Stonehenge. We've been told it's disappointing, but before we got here it was the one thing I wanted to do outside London. I think I'll regret not going more than any possible disappointment. Maybe on Sunday...

We made it over to Madame Tussauds Wax Museum today. The title of the blog kind of sums it up. There was a long line to get in and it was fairly expensive. The first room was all of the movie stars and it was a madhouse - the people taking pictures were so obnoxious. Maybe I'm jaded working in the industry, but I just didn't see the thrill of having a picture taken with a wax figure of somebody I've worked with or may work with in the future. I did take a picture of Simon Cowell, though. My cat Darby thinks he's dreamy.

We got out of there as soon as we could and headed into the room with the historical and political figures. I really wanted the husband to take my picture with Bush, with me flipping him off or giving him bunny ears, but he wouldn't. We did notice that Saddam's plaque had undergone a renovation...

Skipping the chamber of horrors (husband steadily declining, me not really enjoying that kind of stuff), we took the ride through the history of London. Our audio track didn't work most of the time, but it was an ok ride. Apparently the guy loading the "taxis" flirted with me, but I never really recognize it and the husband had to point it out before I realized it had actually happened. It's an issue that Shrink and I have been discussing.

By that point, it was time to go. We were disappointed in the whole thing. The wax figures looked impressive from a distance, but you can get right up next to them and it's not a good thing. They just don't hold up. And the "shows" they put on were mostly audience participation skits - I've never been a fan of that sort of thing. For the money I pay, I want to see some semblance of professionalism. And I've always had a fear of stuff like that coming to life - dolls, marionettes, puppets, etc. Gaining consciousness and trying to kill you in your sleep. Creepy.

I did see a t-shirt I liked in a gift shop on the way to the tube station. I'd been waiting to buy one until I found something really good. It's got the map of the underground on it. Since it was a sunny day, the husband suggested we go to Trafalgar Square and try to get better pictures of the lions around Nelson's Column. I was up for that so we did, but it really wore him out. By the time we were heading home, he was done. I sent him on and went to the store for more drinks and some cold medicine.

It was a quiet afternoon then. Not much to say about the rest of the day. But I do have some disappointments I'd like to mention, since the wax museum opened the door:
1) I really hate smoking in restaurants. It's not allowed in California and I'm glad for now that I've been subjected to it while here.
2) Ordering food in a pub should not be a guessing game. Will someone come to us? Do we order at the bar? Are there any seats? Do they even serve food at this hour? I can't wait for the host station to reappear in my life.
3) Christmas pudding. I bought a "luxury" Christmas pudding at the store today. Yes, I know Christmas was 2 weeks ago, but I don't think that would have made a difference. Christmas pudding seems to be fruitcake in a bowl. Blech.
4) Everything shuts down around 7pm. Unfortunately that's not too much different from home, but I don't like it anywhere.
5) British TV - we have 12 stations here in the apartment. Not a lot, but we do have all the BBC channels. They suck. There is rarely anything on worth watching. Most of the time it's a rerun of something American. And stuff shows at the weirdest times. They must skim the cream to send over on BBC America. The rest is just awful.

That's it for today. Don't want to leave the impression I don't like London, because I really do. I just seem to like the past more than the present.

Breakfast was a bacon, egg, & cheese muffin from McDonalds. I really wanted a biscuit, but they don't seem to do that kind of biscuit over here. Also had an eclair - yummy, and tried a hot cross bun - didn't like it and tossed it out.

Skating and Stepping

Today was my day at the ice rink. Getting there early, we wandered around trying to find something for the husband to read while I skated - no luck. So we went on to Somerset House and I got my skates on. I was pleasantly surprised when I found I could actually walk in the skates. I really was afraid I would be all over the place, falling down and making a fool of myself. But I didn't! I got out on the ice and went round and round, feeling pretty pleased with myself. I didn't fall down once, although I was a bit wobbly at times. I had to remember to keep my knees bent. I did have trouble stopping and managed to slam into the railing several times - 3 of them right into a group of strangers. Two of the groups saw me coming at least and the gentleman that I took by surprise laughed about it. I felt bad about the husband just standing by the side, watching, but it only took about a half hour to wear me out. It's a different sort of exercise than I'm used to and I worked up a sweat. But I am so glad I went skating and I thanked the husband for not letting me chicken out. I'm even thinking of taking lessons when we get home. I know there are rinks in the valley, just depends on the timing for the lessons. My work hours can really screw stuff like that up.

We walked down to St. Paul's Cathedral then, as I wanted to climb up to the dome. It's 530 steps, mostly on spiral stairs. We started out on the main floor, looking at the nativity and the ceilings. Very beautiful and ornate. Headed down to the crypt, which wigged me out a bit. Cemeteries I can handle, but crypts with carved images of the people buried inside are too much. Luckily, a lot are just memorials. Looked around, found Lawrence of Arabia, then headed up. The husband went up to the Whispering Gallery with me (which didn't work, but I don't think we were exactly across from each other). He headed back down and I headed up. It was quite a climb, but not as bad as it could have been. A lot of the time, the spirals had short breaks or small bridges, so I didn't get as dizzy as I can on those things. But the view from the top was worth it. You could see everything. It was a bit hazy today, but still a very nice view. I took a lot of pictures so the husband could feel like he was there - hope they turn out. On the way down, I had a bad spot on the stairs. Sometimes, when I'm on a stairway and have several floors to go down, I can't help but think about the people in the Towers on 9/11. I remember hearing survivors talk about how hard it was to get down the stairs, how some people had to resort to sliding down on their bottoms. I'm in pretty good shape for the shape I'm in - I work out 4 or 5 times a week - I just can't imagine being on the 72 floor knowing I had to get down to 1 before I could get out...

But I got down and went to find the husband. We had found a bookstore on our way to St. Paul's and had picked up 4 books. He was kind of angry with me for spending the money, but I felt he deserved it for having to spend most of the day waiting for me to do stuff. He was reading off to the side and I went over and sat with him for a bit. I had worked up another sweat and was still feeling odd from the stairs - told him about it and he patted my thigh. He knows it's still hard for me.

Went to a great pub for lunch - Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese. It's a pub that's been around since 1666, if not longer for some parts of it. Charles Dickens used to eat there and they have a seat marked as his usual. They also have a stuffed parrot that died in 1926. It was named Polly and was 40 when it died. Apparently it was famous and its death was noted worldwide - they had the obituaries in several languages to prove it. The bird was profane and if you asked it what it would have, it would shout "Scotch"! The food was really good and the entertainment was even better. We sat in a booth next to a group of 6 men. They seemed to be very good friends and the stories they told were fascinating to listen in on. I know we shouldn't have eavesdropped, but it's not like we had to try - it was harder to pretend we weren't listening. I would love to have a group of friends like that.

After lunch, it was off to the Cabinet War Rooms, the underground bunker where the British government met during WWII. This was just about my favorite museum. They had restored it to the way it looked during its use, with most of the original furnishings and equipment. They even found a bag of sugar rations that one of the officers had hidden away in a drawer! It really was quite interesting to hear about the activities that went on there and the idiosyncrasies of Churchill and his staff. Made it all much more real than what what you get from school books.

Walked through St. James's Park down to Buckingham Palace - doesn't look like much at night, not illuminated at all. Headed through another park and caught the tube home. Had to stop at Boots on the way. Both the husband and I are catching a bit of something and we needed lozenges.

All in all, a good day. Maybe breakfast helped with that. We had sausage rolls this morning. Needed something with some meat in it.

A Day in Oxford

Finally got out of London today - went to Oxford on the train. It's an interesting town. The main street is full of modern shops and fast food restaurants, but they're all housed in these old buildings. And tucked down side streets are the colleges. It seems otherworldly in a way, like the buildings will always be there and the contents are the only things that'll change. There was a church, I think, and I peered into the window as we passed and saw a little cafe, just like what we had at the University of Tennessee. Almost a small student union... Most of the colleges were closed, but I did duck into the vestibule of a couple and looked at the quad. I can't imagine going to school here and not feeling privileged and entitled. It just fascinates me that people live their lives in a place like that, surrounded by so much history. Still a bit touristy, but with that kind of history it's to be expected. Every church or building that could had a little exhibit or tower to climb - we climbed Carfax, which was fun with all its spiraling steps.

As for the train ride, it only took an hour, so I didn't know what to expect by way of countryside, but it didn't look that much different from east Tennessee or southern Indiana. Rolling hills and green fields, rivers and forests, very peaceful to see it flash by the window. The houses were different, but the landscape wasn't. It was comforting, in a way.

It seems as if everybody in Oxford (who isn't a tourist) rides a bicycle. We saw so many stored in special areas and the rail station had a whole yard full of racks with over 100 bikes chained up. I think that would be nice, to be able to get around town on a bike.

We went to Leicester Square when we got back to see if there were any shows we wanted to see, but not tonight. Had dinner at a Pizza Hut to change up from pub food then came home. I seem to be catching a bit of something - got a tickle in the throat. I'm tired, too. I thought I slept ok last night, but I had bad dreams and the husband said he heard me whimpering. I actually fell asleep today on the train trip back. At least my back didn't hurt when I got up this morning. Maybe I'll start recounting my dreams - if I start blogging in the morning.

The only other thing I can think to mention is an artist named Edward Monkton. A bookstore in Oxford had a selection of his cards and I found them brilliant. I bought a couple and will have to look for him online.

Bakers Oven for breakfast again - a donut with butterscotch curls on it. I do love butterscotch. But maybe I need to lay off the pastries for a bit... My belt still fits like it did, but I'm getting cravings and moody and all the bad stuff I get when I don't eat the best. We'll see.

Outside London

Today didn't start off too well, but the husband has commented that I should not really go into too much detail.

We went back to the bookstore today, but the online inventory lied and he didn't have the book. Not real happy about that. Don't understand why people have online inventories if they aren't accurate.

Walked over to Kensington Palace and sat in the park for a bit, then headed out to Barking to check on a Doctor Who store. I liked Barking - it seemed like a real place, not a tourist destination. And it was much nicer than East Ham. The tube agent who sold us the tickets said we should head left out of the station to find the store, which was wrong, but it did take us to a nice little used book/comic book shop that we wouldn't have found otherwise. The husband bought some comics and we were amused by the old man rifling through the dirty magazines who was on a first name basis with the clerk.

We wandered the other direction, through another street market (it's no wonder things in stores are so expensive when it seems you could find anything you needed in a street market for cheap). Found the store in a mall. I left the husband looking at the stuff and went off on my own. Found a book store selling their Christmas cards for 75% off, so I bought 3 packs. I like the ones that say "Happy Christmas" - very British.

Got back on the train and hit the Who store in East Ham again. It was open this time and was a nice place. Seemed to be a bit of a social gathering spot. Ended up buying some Tardis bookends that I really liked. The area was not that nice, though. I wouldn't go there after dark.

Tried to go ice skating at Somerset House, but I wigged out for some reason and the tickets sold out while the husband was trying to get me to go back. We ended up booking a ticket for Thursday morning. I don't really know what that was all about, I just know I didn't want to go even though I'd been planning to since I found out about it.

Went up to Covent Garden, had dinner, bought some Doc Marten boots, caught the train home. The day ended much better than it started, that I can say for certain.

Breakfast was a Belgian Bun from the bakery across from the tube station. I didn't know what it was when I picked it, it just looked interesting. Ended up being a roll with raisins and some icing - not that interesting after all...

Another Bank Holiday?

It's surprising to me how many days the British take off during the holidays. Every time we turn around it's another holiday and half the stores are closed. Annoying.

I got up early and went to the big Harrod's sale. If I had less taste and more money, I could have dropped a fortune in there. Stuff dropped from ridiculously overpriced to just expensive, but the stuff I wanted was either not on sale or only 10% off (that includes the dinosaur eggs). Figures. I did find a pair of earrings and a purple top, but didn't even come close to my budgeted limit.

Walked home and stopped by the Natural History Museum again to see if I could get some better shots than last night (had some trouble with the flash).

Met up with the husband and set out for a day of shopping, which ended up not really working out. We'd misread the sign on a bookstore - they won't open again until tomorrow after having been closed since Christmas. Then we took the train out to East Ham to go to a Doctor Who store which was also closed. The husband very upset by this, as it cost $20 for us to get there. I'm ok with it, I got to see some of London that didn't look like a postcard. People actually do throw trash over their back fence here, too. But there are other issues with the husband than the amount of money spent and we kind of fought the rest of the day about it. I hate it when we get like that, but I don't know how to change it. The husband says it's out of my control, which is part of the problem. I like being in control. I like being able to handle things. I don't like being helpless. Especially when it comes to helping him.

We stopped in Whitechapel on the way back but they don't post any "Jack the Ripper killed 5 prostitutes this way" signs and I didn't have my DK book. The husband says the passage of time makes it ok to turn 5 grisly murders into a tourist attraction, but not ok for the government to use taxes to point the way for the tourists. He's got a point about the taxes, but as for the tourist angle, I think it might have more to do with the fact nobody knows for sure who Jack was. If we had a name and a face to go with the crimes, he'd just be another serial murderer nobody would want to remember. We wandered up and down a street market, then got back on the train.

Went to the London Eye, which I enjoyed and the husband endured. He's not a big fan of heights. I'm ok most of the time - don't like anything where I could actually fall to my death but if it's enclosed, let's go! We had a pretty good view. I even managed to pick out where we were staying - not the building but the area. You can see straight down Downing Street, too, which seems a bit odd to me. I wonder if that was ever a security concern? It was cold, though, right there on the river. We had to cross the Thames to get there and back and the wind was nippy. It was nice to get back to the apartment and warm up.

We stopped at a bakery across from the tube station for breakfast - we both had eclairs. They were really good. The filling wasn't sweet, but the chocolate was. It made for a light pastry, not too much. At least it wasn't another bar.

A Lazy Sunday

We slept in today - it was fantastic! I had a weird dream about shooting a movie and needing to dress in medieval costume and answer questions from German students in order to get the locations we needed. Odd that, since I do payroll...

Anyway, we got up around 11am and wandered off to lunch. Found an Indian place (Light of India) where we had the best meal we've had yet in London. Made sure to tell the waiter that, too. We will be going back there. Walked up to Knightsbridge to see if the T-Mobile store was open yet and it wasn't. If they can't help me tomorrow, I'm going to be very unhappy. Out phone charger seems to have died and we've had to leave the phones turned off except to check for messages. Not really what I had planned...

Walked back down to the Natural History Museum. I really enjoyed the exhibits - dinosaurs, fossils, minerals, etc. The earthquake exhibit bothered me. I've been in a couple of small ones at home and they are frightening. I didn't care to treat it as a thrill ride so we bypassed that one. Tried to buy something in a gift shop, but didn't see any magnets and didn't see anything I couldn't get at home. But I did take a couple of cool photos.

The husband was worried that we didn't do enough today, but I think it was just right. The time difference is still messing us up and it's nice to take it easy for a day. We had thought we might go to Greenwich, but I preferred sleeping in. This is why I wanted to take 2 weeks in London. I wanted this to be relaxing and still see everything. So far, it's been a good trip.

Breakfast today was a caramel nut brownie bar. I'm getting tired of the bars, but they're easy and I have to eat when I take my pills. Oh well.

London Parade

Went to the parade today and got there way too early. It started at noon, so we got there at 10am, which in the States would have meant being about 6th or 7th back from the curb. But not here. We walked almost to the beginning of the route before we saw any real crowds and most people didn't seem to show up until after 11:30am.

We sat down on the curb and waited, which wouldn't have been so bad except for the annoying children across the street with the whistles and the former cop from LA whose wife was in the parade. Actually, I think the cop was worse. He talked almost nonstop for over 2 hours to the British officer doing crowd control. Due to his running commentary, I know more about this man, his wife, his son, and the "history" of policing then I should ever have to know. I felt really bad for the husband. He only went to the parade because of me and was right next to the guy. He kept leaning down to groan in my ear whenever the guy said something particularly stupid. We left before the parade was over - it was much colder than I thought it would be, especially standing still, and it wasn't that great of a parade. I don't know why I stayed as long as I did - felt bad about leaving early after dragging the husband there and subjecting him to annoying people... After we got out of the crowd, I realized that the cop's friend had managed to separate himself from the cop... Figured that was on purpose.

Went up to Selfridges next to do a little shopping. I didn't realize it was going to be another version of Harrod's, but I wanted to go to a British department store and buy something, so we went. Found a very nice green silk top that wasn't too expensive. Looked at some other things but, come on... Not going to pay those prices just to say I got it in London!

Got some lunch, bought some roasted chestnuts (ok tasting, but mostly for the experience), tried to find a replacement cell phone charger (no luck), then came home. Managed to fall asleep for most of the evening.

Basically a good day. Worried about the husband, though. He's going through a tough time, has been for a while now. It's rough because I can't help him, but I keep trying. The problem is that I can usually accomplish what I set out to do and haven't with him yet. But I will.

Pralines & Cream bar this morning, which wasn't all that good. When we got to Piccadilly Circus and realized we were early, we got pastries and hot chocolate. I had a toffee cream donut with too much icing on it - most of it fell off after the 1st bite, so it turned out ok in the end.