Lazy People and Babies

If you've ever been to Target, and who hasn't, you've seen the exit doors. Usually there are 2 types: a set of automatic doors and one push door. They are right next to each other and are clearly marked. They even have a "guard rail" between them, why I don't know. Anyway, I was in Target today with my cart full of cat food, litter, new purse, assorted wedding shower game prizes, etc. I've pushed my cart towards exit when I observe 2 things I claim as proof of the enormity of human laziness. First, a woman with a cart heads purposefully into the cart corral before realizing she's not getting out that way. I can only assume she went in there because the "doors" were already open - no waiting. Second, a man with one bag walked up to the manual door and when it didn't open for him, stopped, backed up, stepped to his left, and walked through the automatic doors. Hello! Push! It's really easy to do, just pick up your arm and apply pressure with your hand, following through until you're outside! I just can't believe people are that lazy.

Met with Shrink today. Talked to her about my renewed interest in having a baby. Growing up, I wanted a big family. How could I not? I love being from a big family. Then I got to a certain age where I decided I didn't want kids at all. I was convinced for a long time, more than a decade, that I was not going to have children, no matter what. Sometime in there I met the husband and we got married. He wasn't into having kids either, so we were just fine. Then I got a little older and thought, well, maybe one would be ok. Not that I'd try for it, but if it happened, that'd be alright. At some point in that phase, I decided I would have a kid by the time I was 35 or not at all. I didn't want to be an old mom. My mom was 46 when I was born and as much as I love all of the stuff I learned from my folks, my mom is now 80 and my dad is 77. I just turned 34 and they're not going to be around forever. I know I've been lucky to have them this long. Not everybody is. I just don't want to do it to my kid.

So my self-imposed deadline is drawing near. If I'm going to have a kid while I'm no older than 35, I have to be pregnant by May of 2006. And that's cutting it close. But the husband isn't up for it. Not that he's totally against kids, he just doesn't think we're financially secure enough for a baby. Like most people ever are! I understand his point, but it's hard to argue with biology. Plus, with other things going on, I'm starting to worry I might not be able. So it's been a weird week for me. Having a baby is a big step. I just don't know what's going to happen.

Had a bar for breakfast. I've been doing really well this week except for the fact I donated blood yesterday and had the cookies and juice afterward. I love those pecan sandies! I still went down 0.8 pounds, so it's all good.