First Date (Not Mine)

An IM conversation w/ a coworker:

SP7: things i will definitely miss about being here: lobster roll friday.

F-C: OH SO TRUE
F-C: I TOOK 2 THIS WEEK
F-C: YUMMY

SP7: i took 2 last week! then i ate full-on lunch, and was near catatonic by 2nd meal. (which i skipped, p.s.) (though it'd be a better story if i soldiered on and ate it anyway.)

F-C: i'm eating the full on lunch
F-C: unless it's crappy greek again

SP7: as well you should! i did like the falafel.

F-C: that was about the best part
F-C: then no dinner but lots of alcohol

SP7: yeeeah, wooo! are you going out, or just sitting home and getting wasted?

F-C: the latter
F-C: me and sof
F-C: plowing thru some tequila

SP7: yaaay! that's kind of my favorite...never been clubby or sceney, though i do enjoy a nice old-man bar, but if you stay HOME, you can wear jammy pants, no shoes, fall asleep where you are...and being married only makes it awesomer! if you make out with somebody, you ALREADY KNOW how cute he ACTUALLY IS!

F-C: yes, and you know his first AND last names

SP7: right? (A was mildly offended on our first date, when mid-going-at-it, i asked him his last name twice.)

F-C: ok, so you made out w/ him on the 1st date?

SP7: um, yes...made...out...

F-C: oh man - are you telling me home run?
F-C: on the first date?

SP7: dude, i was single, i was having an awesome summer, i was much thinner, i was doing late-night improv shows, i'd just finished acting in a terrible movie that was a lot of fun...plus i'm secretly kind of slutty! so our first date was fifteen hours long, and i had no pants on for like 12 of them. we ordered a pizza at some point...and the only thing that ended the date was that i had to get up, get dressed, and go on another date with another guy. (with whom i did NOT sleep, by the by. i'm only KIND of slutty. )

F-C: wow, no wonder he married you!
F-C: you go girl

SP7: woooo!

F-C: i'm going to give him a wink-wink-nudge-nudge when i see him

SP7: then our second date was going to sears to try to buy him a bed on credit, because he just had a twin-size air mattress. he was turned down. then our third date was taking me to the doctor to deal with the UTI from our first two dates.

F-C: can I post this on my blog? it's genius

SP7: aww, sure! as long as nobody would ever know that it was him. he's tres private like that.

F-C: i won't mention names

SP7: can you make me taller? and...asian?

F-C: uh, sure - although tall asians are kinda rare

SP7: sweeet!