Baxter

When I got home last night and saw Baxter I knew his time had come. He's very thin and frail but seems to be alert and pain-free. He knew who I was and let me scratch him under the chin awhile. But it's time. I'm glad I got to see him and I'm glad I'll be there to hold him while he goes. My handsome Boo.

Done

I hate this job and I would quit in a heartbeat if it wasn't for my boss. I know she's trying to find help for me and I know it's just not out there. I also think if I left her high and dry she'd blacklist me.

Tanks

We have a bunch of tanks and stuff in this movie (military moving something out of Area 51 and all). I've been asking since I found out for a ride. Today, I'm going for a ride in a tank. Doesn't quite make up for these past few weeks but damn, I'm going and I'm going to enjoy it.

Rough Week

I've had a really rough couple of weeks. This job has been nothing but 12-14 hour days, 6 and 7 days a week, bad paperwork, and unpleasant people. Nobody is happy to be here anymore and it's showing. I've been accused of not being able to do my job (which will be another post), of being at fault for people getting paid late, and I'm dealing with some psycho local who is on disability and worked too much and wants me to pull of some kind of miracle for her (which in the end would be illegal). My cat is dying, my husband has to deal with him all alone, I miss him and my furry family, and going home seems to be a long way off.

Then I hear from E and realize there are still worse things in the world than what I'm going through.

Facebook

I canceled my Facebook account. I'll set up a new one but I'm only allowing friends and family on it - no more coworkers.

Failure

I can no longer do my job to the standard to which I aspire (sounds pretentious when it's grammatically correct, doesn't it?). But the truth is I feel like I'm having a slow-speed meltdown trying to be perfect. I've been told I'm better than other payroll accountants but at what cost? I get so frustrated with the stupidity I have to deal with on every show, thinking that if I did my job the way they do theirs I'd never work again. But the truth is I could probably do 75% of what I'm doing now and still be fine. I could get it all done if I worked 12 hours a day, 7 days a week but that's contributing to the stress, not alleviating it. Smaller shows - I'm on my own. Bigger shows get more help but never enough or not the right kind. I just don't see a way out. I want to do a good job without it being so damn hard.

Okay, vent over...

Time for bed. Got to get up and do it all again tomorrow. 

Oh, check YouTube - there's video of the explosions from the other night. So much for secrecy, huh?

How Much Longer?

The VFX producer came by to give me some info and let slip that she thinks we're going to be here longer than originally planned. Not sure how long but probably a week... She said she was supposed to have the cemetery scene (a big VFX scene) on Friday but it's Tuesday and they're just now shooting it.

I really want to go to home. I miss the husband and I want to see Baxter before he gets too sick. And I'm tired of working 12+ hour days 6 and 7 days a week. The money is good but it's exhausting.

They've been trying to find someone to do the CA payroll but no one is available. The 1st offered to do it on a 6th day, which would be cheaper than hiring a new body, but it hasn't been approved yet. At this point I just want to stop having to ship paperwork back and forth across the country.

In other news, I'm planning on going to the Warhol Museum this Saturday. Not that I was ever a big fan but I don't dislike his work and it might be interesting. If nothing else it's not Weirton for the day.